Castanuelos, castanets, are you listening Mr. Guest?

A raging controversy.  Does hitting two pieces of wood (or metal, or plastic) together create emotion?  Can a rig replace a community of quirky humans trained for years to hit them just so?  If something is really a classical instrument, why did Mozart and Bach and Schubert forget to write music for it?  Why is it that castanets have wide roots over the world, but we think only of big fluffy polka dot dresses, red lipstick and wailing gypsies?  Sounds like a Christopher Guest movie to me!